Happy Hump Day!!!
So y’all, I am 24 years old. And can I say that I am sick of the expectations society place on us?! Also, I am tired of seeing my fellow twenty-something-year-olds fall into traps that can be avoided. Now, the beauty about 20s is that we kind of get a pass in some stupidity. Key word here is some.
You have opportunities and freedom like no other. You can live and fall and live and fall with more of a pass then others. This is the decade for you to learn and embrace who you are. This is the decade for you to take risks in your careers and personal life. This is the best decade for you to go on gap years and learn about different cultures to become less narrow minded in your thinking.
This is the decade for you to figure things out with grace. Key word here is grace. You’re not properly learning if you haven’t made mistakes. If you are not making mistakes then you are not living. Instead, you are being safe, taking the coward way out. Am I saying to have one night stands or quit a good job so you can “find yourself”? No. What I am saying in regards to risks is to dream beyond what you can imagine happening in your current situation.
Failure holding you back?
“You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it.” – Maya Angelou
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. -James 1:2-4
Failure is what teaches us. You will learn more from a mistake then you would from winning the first time around. Challenge is what strengthens and grows you.
“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” – Thomas Edison
The righteous may fall seven times but still get up, but the wicked will stumble into trouble. – Proverbs 24:16
So with that said, here is my list of 21 pieces of advice for TwentySomething year olds.
- Become solid in your faith. Why do you believe in what you believe in? Is it because mommy and daddy taught you that? I want everyone to know about the Goodness of Jesus, but I can’t do it for you. No one can.
- Surround yourself with wise counsel. This can be a network of mature people. This could be a church group. Either way, you need mature been-there-done-that people surrounding you, with access to give you truthful (maybe even painful) advice. Note: Don’t go with the noise in the market, how is that person living? Do you respect the way they talk about others behind their backs? Do they carry themselves with integrity? Are they humble? Do they have healthy relationships? I don’t care if that is an old church mama or a 6 figure boss bae, if your character sucks or you scheme your way to the top… I’m good.
- Build a 6 months emergency fund from now. I am all for traveling and having fun on the weekend but life hits us with unexpected events. It doesn’t matter your age, please start an emergency fund. I highly recommend watching Dave Ramsey if you are not financially literally. He is the financial BOSS!
- Spend a lot of time with the older people you love. I love my mom and I wish she could live forever. Like I said before, we just don’t know what and when life will throw unexpected events at us. So love the people who matter.
- Believe your friends when they show you who they are. This is your prime years, don’t waste it on people who are constantly showing you that you do not matter. Pray for them and keep it moving. You don’t need that crap.
- Come out of toxic relationships. In fact, don’t even go into one. And ohhh we see it. We see the red flags. Trust your instincts! Read about healthy relationships. A lot of our generation saw crappy relationships and are relying on a spouse or partner to complete us. No one should complete you and you should not go into a relationship as a half. A partner should compliment us. But show can they if we don’t even know who we are?
- Travel responsibly. See the world but do not go broke doing it. Set a budget, save and travel. There are countless youtubers who are traveling the world on a budget, teaching you the ins and outs. There is really no excuse.
- Don’t be afraid to try something new. Even if you fall on eggs at the end, imagine the stories you will tell your grandkids?! Be that awesome grandma with the photos to show it. Most of all, make your future self proud.
- Don’t fall in the millionaire by 25 traps. Quarter life crisis is so real. Dream BIG but don’t put your mental health at risk in the process.
- Discover the unhealthy belief systems that were taught to you as a child. Two great ways of doing this is by spending time with people with different backgrounds and family structure(be wise with this though). Secondly, the best way is to ask Holy Spirit to reveal them to you. Write down what you think about next or what’s been bothering you. Find scriptures to help you.
- Don’t be ashamed to see a counselor. I am always yapping about my love for my therapist. She rocks and I am 100% pro-therapy. What do you have to lose speaking with a counselor? Is that another unhealthy belief? That only crazy people see a therapist. Uh no! Most likely one of your favorite celeb sees a therapist. It’s literally like talking to your friend but this “friend” has a degree in common sense and wisdom.
- Ask yourself hard questions. Do I really like myself? Do I dress for attention and compliments from others? Do I have any prejudiced views? Am I eating my emotions away? WHat kind of eggs do I like?
- Start investing. I advise that you do research and speak with a financial advisor. Do not invest in what you do not understand.
- Start a retirement fund. The younger you are the better. Simple, point blank.
- Become financially literate. As I mentioned earlier, Dave Ramsey is a great reliable source for this. Also, the bible has amazing money management skills. You will be shocked at a lot of wealth building tips are in the bible. (Ecclesiastes 11:2, Proverbs 21:20)
- Learn from your mistakes, don’t dwell in it. Oh, how we all hate failing. Well, like I said at the beginning, there is a lot of wisdom in your mistakes that you wouldn’t have gotten if you won the first time.
- Learn the art and beauty of serving others. Are you naturally selfish or are you an unhealthy giver. Neither is good. You do not want to be in either category.
- Do not allow someone to live vicariously through you. Do not choose a career because your family told you so. Do not buy a house before you’re ready because “that’s what adults do”. Boo, do you. Be responsible and do not allow controlling people to dictate your life. This is definitely hard for a lot of us but we gotta do it.
- Learn to be a free thinker. You gotta be able to order your own food. Speak up for yourself. Defend your cause and so on. Believe that your voice have power.
- Become a good friend. Listen, men come and go. And even if you married an amazing man, don’t push your friends to the sideline to keep him. Friendships are vital for our growth.
- Learn how to say, “no”. Know your rights and know that you have a choice in life. Do not build your life on being a people pleaser
Trust the Lord with all your heart, and don’t depend on your own understanding. Remember the Lord in all you do, and he will give you success. – Proverbs 3:5-6
Let me know in the comments below what you guys have learned and if you have any other advice for TwentySomethings.
I am hosting a FREE live writing session on my IG: @alieunscripted. So every Thursday and Sunday for 1 hour starting at 8pm, I will be on. Every session starts with prayer and after the 1 hour focus writing session, I will stay on for any questions you may have! So follow me on Instagram to get notifications.