So I’ve asked on my social media, sent information and resources and also checked in a people to make sure that they were good during this pandemic. I think I only spoke about it once on my blog and maybe not even in great details.
I’ve been really good during this pandemic. I’ve actually had less “bad days” since being home. A lot of people are shock about how good I am because I do have extrovert tendencies. I don’t know why but I don’t necessarily like titles like introvert & extrovert. Either way, if I had to clarify, I would say that I am an ambivert. I really need a balance of both and I have proved to myself that I could not rely on either to “charge me”.
Either way, the introvert part is coming to an end and I really want to go out and have one of those nights when I don’t come back home until the morning. I miss my weekend outings. I would go to the movies by myself or go to an event with a friend. On the island, the theaters are still closed and curfew is 10pm. I don’t do bar or clubs so that’s a dud for me.
I know that a lot is happening in the world like fires, death, hurricanes and so on. But guess what… MY emotions do not check in with others to see if it’s okay to not be okay. I have been praying, sharing information and donating when I can. I believe in being my brothers keeper. Trust me. I do.
But in all of that guess what? I still have to take care of me. I had a huge issue of taking in other people’s issue in a toxic way, I had codependency issues. I felt that it was wrong to buy something small and simple when there was people struggling. I lived in a season of misery because I thought I didn’t have the right to complain.
Well… guess what?
Yes. I am. Set free by the blood of Jesus.
I overthink everything and I wasn’t being mentally healthy.
This is what I’ve learned. Life does require sacrifice but my mental health isn’t an option. I have to make a blog post of how I became okay with setting boundaries… ohhhh that is a storytime for lifetime.
I’ve learned that it is okay miss the small stuff. That feeling doesn’t make you ungrateful or unappreciative. It makes you human and I don’t know about you but I’m not trying to be anything other than human.
If you are missing traveling, brunch dates, church service, movie nights, sleepover and massages. That’s okay. It doesn’t make you less of a human being. Take this with you: Learn to be secure in who you are.
It’s the daily habit of learning and maturing that will help you to confidently know and stand up for yourself (even internally because everything doesn’t require a clap back)
Until next time. I love you.