Hello beautiful people.
It feels so good to be writing to you guys today. I miss y’all so much and I pray that y’all families are safe and you are staying sane and close to Jesus during this time.
So today, I want to share some shocking news with you guys. Well, this is the early stages of my blogging life so it’s probably not going to be shocking. Anywho, believe it or not but I am not an expert at much. In fact, I live a very simple life with not much fluff… I think. I think this way of living is actually very common but not many are willing to admit it.
In the same breath, I will also say that I know I am not called to live a lowkey life forever. Last week it hit me like a classic, “oh, crap” moment. Um… Alie, your goals are literally pushing you on the frontlines.
Well mudda sick. (Bahamian terminology for a revelation)
Trust me when I say I am comfortable making an impact behind the scenes.
But this week (and it’s only Tuesday when I am writing this) has not been a walk in the park. It’s been rough. I’ve had three crying “moments” and I’m unashamed of that. Most of it was due to frustration. Let me tell y’all that it’s okay to cry, just don’t make your bed there. But either way, it was difficult for me to make some grown woman’s decisions last week. So prepare to go on the journey of streamlining goals with me. Ugh, I lowkey dread this moment but it has to be done.
Life has to keep going, people. Whether we are progressing individually or not, and honestly I get frightened by that. You ever wanted to just do something with your life but don’t know how to do it? Honestly, I’ve been having emotions of fear, disappointment and shame. I’m 24, I should know what I want to do with my life. I went to college, I had a plan, I had support but chil’ please… I’ve changed. And now my goals in life are different.
I keep asking myself, “Alex, what do you want to do with your life? C’mon girl, choose already?” (You know it’s serious if I call myself Alex and not Alie.)
Did I mention in my last entry, Reckless Love. Inadequacy. Messy Healing, that I am learning to extend grace to myself? Yeah I think I did.
Anywho, here is a list of what I’ve learned so far:
- You’re 24 years old. Breathe. I spoke to several adults in their forties. These are business women who are stellar in their field and they just snorted and told me, “Girl, I’m still trying to figure it out myself”. They’re not at the stage that I am, they have goals but honestly, we are constantly evolving and life will always present new options and ideas to you that you didn’t think of before. So be prepared to make your life plan more than once. And be okay with that.
- Seek Jesus. Too often, I leave this step last but it should be a part of the beginning, middle and end process. Jesus wants to walk with you on your journey. Not only does he knows your future, he has a plan for your life but ohhhh… know that even with his plan, you have to choose. I learned this last year and it blew my mind. Jesus is in every outcome. Every scenario he is in the picture; don’t be afraid to make the wrong move because that is just the enemies tactic to keep you stagnant. I don’t like doing it but we have to make decisions. However, remember that there is no move that you can make, that he won’t know how to lead you to your destiny. He can work with you, but honey you have to make a step.
- Sometimes old goals are no longer valid. I will never tell you to give up on a goal. But I would tell you to evaluate why you want to achieve that goal. Last week I realized that something I was pushing myself to do was a dream I wanted to achieve in high school. Due to that, I felt obligated to do it. But the truth is that I am not the same person with the same beliefs or the same experience. What I wanted to do in high school was based on my former self life experience.
- Passion alone is not enough. You need a vision, a why, discipline, and a strong head to ignore negative people. Passion alone will not sustain your dreams.
- Too many voices of opinion will hinder your progress. You need to go to a quiet place and just sit. Sit and dream by yourself. You might have to do this for a couple of days or weekends but do it. I definitely believe that wise counsel can help you and I spoke about wise counsel in A Letter for Those Who are Done with Life. My advice will be to get sound counsel and have a quiet conversation with yourself about your future.
- Explore. I love this part. Try new things and don’t be afraid to pick up new hobbies. Indoor rock climbing might teach you to trust your instincts more. Joining Toastmasters might show you that you can articulate yourself and be a leader. You won’t know unless you try. And with picking up new skills, you will gain confidence to explore ideas you once thought you were not qualified to do.
- Your job and your calling are different. Think of Apostle Paul. He wrote most of the books in the New Testament. Most christians know him as an Apostle; a man who traveled a lot, wrote letters to churches to keep them accountable, mentor a lot of new disciples and even went to prison for the gospel. But did y’all know this man had a J.O.B to fund his calling. (Acts 18:1-3, 2 Thes 3:8) If you read 1 Thes 2:9, you would see that he said he works so he won’t be a burden on the people he was called to minister to. It’s okay to have a job that funds your calling.
- Don’t be afraid to go back to school but don’t feel pressure to. You don’t need a college degree to be successful, but you definitely need it to be a heart surgeon. A psychologist once told me that sometimes people really just need to participate in workshops and do volunteer work. Do research on what you want to do and the avenues to get there.
- Get rid of the fantasy. Whatever you want to do should bring real joy in your life, but it will also be hard work. Talk to people in the field you are considering entering into. Learn about the pros and cons of that profession. I’ve asked people I knew and didn’t know to speak to them about their profession. They told me the real no-fluff dirt about the business, from that I was able to make an intelligent decision.
- Be okay with being different. Maybe you will have to switch majors. Maybe you’ll have to move. Maybe you won’t be taking over the family’s business. Maybe you won’t be the first doctor or lawyer in the family. You can’t spend your life trying to make everyone happy. You will break and it won’t be pretty. Trust me… I know.
Guys, I love you so much. This is what I’ve learned so far. I am about to come off here and do some more soul work. In the comment section, leave some of the lessons you’ve learned when figuring out your career goals.
I am hosting a FREE live writing session on my IG: @alieunscripted. So every Thursday and Sunday for 1 hour starting at 8pm, I will be on. Every session starts with prayer and after the 1 hour focus writing session, I will stay on for any questions you may have! So follow me on Instagram to get notifications.